Headstone Inscriptions: What to Say on a Headstone

If you are responsible for deciding what to put on someone’s headstone, it can feel a bit overwhelming. After all, this is how the person will be memorialised for all time. Fortunately, it usually takes quite a long time for the headstone to be engraved, so you do not have to rush into your decision. Take your time coming up with just the right words, spending time in reflection as well as in discussion with family and friends.

Before you have the headstone engraved, it is important to find the right words to truly represent the person who has died. If your loved one is being buried in a non-religious cemetery, you have a lot of freedom, as there are no hard and fast rules about headstone inscriptions. As long as the inscription is respectful and contains no offensive language, it will probably be permitted. If you have any doubts, you can always check with those in charge before you have the headstone engraved.

If the burial ground is religious, you will need to be much more careful. Religious cemeteries often have strict rules governing inscriptions, so it is important to speak with the religious leader before choosing the inscription. That being said, there are a few guidelines that are generally followed with headstone inscriptions.

The most important elements in a headstone inscription are the person’s name, date of birth, and date of death. Above these details will typically be an opening phrase, like “In Loving Memory of” or “Dearly loved”. Some families choose to refer to the person’s relationships, perhaps describing someone as a “beloved wife and mother” or a “cherished son”. Under the details about the person, there is usually a closing phrase, such as “Always in Our Hearts” or “Remembered with Love”.

If desired, however, you can put as much on the headstone as you wish, as long as it falls under the guidelines of the cemetery. Some people choose to include a scripture verse or a song lyric, while others might engrave the headstone with a favourite catchphrase of the person who has died, or a short biographical statement.

There are many quotes that could be used on a headstone, and you may know immediately which quote your loved one would have wanted. If you need inspiration, here are some famous quotes that have been engraved on headstones.

• Be still. Close your eyes. Breathe. Listen for my footfall in your heart. I am not gone but merely walk within you. (From "The Smoke Jumper" by Nicholas Evans)
• Far Away, There In The Sunshine Are My Highest Aspirations (Louise May Alcott)
• Now twilight lets her curtain down and pins it with a star. (L.M. Child)
• Step softly, a dream lies buried here. (Yates)

In some cases, you may want to include more than just a line, but rather a stanza or even an entire poem. There are many from which to choose, and some people use a poem that was read at the person’s funeral as an epitaph for the headstone. Popular poems include:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not for long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that once we shared
Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the master plan
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
Laugh at all the things we used to do
Miss me, but let me go.

To the living, I am gone,
To the sorrowful, I will never return,
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot speak, but I can listen.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea,
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity,
Remember me.

Remember me in your heart:
Your thoughts, and your memories,
Of the times we loved,
The times we cried,
The times we fought,
The times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.

One of the benefits of planning your own funeral is that you can make many decisions for yourself, including what you would like written on your headstone. Contact Bridgwater Funeral Services Limited and we can help you plan a funeral that truly reflects your personality and the life you have lived. Founded in 2002 by Nigel Gillard, in the centre of Bridgwater, Somerset, Bridgwater Funeral Services is a family business that provides personal service 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Traditions both old and modern are honoured here, with Green and Woodland burials, horse-drawn funerals, military funerals, and services in all religious denominations as well as non-religious and humanist life celebrations. We also offer low-cost funerals and Golden Charter pre-paid funeral plans. If you need help planning a funeral and want to learn more about our services, contact us through our website for information and resources.