How to Cope With Grief at Christmas

1. Acknowledge that Christmas may feel different

Grief has its own rhythm, and it rarely aligns with the calendar. It is perfectly natural if Christmas feels emotionally heavier, quieter, or more complicated than it has in the past. Acknowledging this early can reduce some of the pressure to experience the season in a particular way. Allow yourself to recognise that this year may feel unlike previous ones, and that this is a valid part of the bereavement journey.

2. Plan gently around your needs

Planning ahead can help soften the emotional strain. Think about the traditions, gatherings, or commitments you genuinely feel able to manage. You may wish to scale back invitations or choose smaller, calmer activities rather than large, bustling events. If you live in Bridgwater or the surrounding Somerset villages, you might find comfort in a peaceful walk along the River Parrett, some quiet time in Blake Gardens, a visit to another green space, or simply spending time at home. Create a loose plan for the day but allow yourself the freedom to change it depending on how you feel.

3. Be open with family and friends

People rarely know what someone who is grieving needs unless they are told. Being open about your preferences can help prevent misunderstandings and reduce pressure. You may want a quieter Christmas, a shorter visit, or support with certain tasks. You may equally prefer to keep busy or spend time with particular people. Whatever you choose, expressing it clearly allows friends and relatives to support you in a way that feels comfortable rather than overwhelming.

4. Meaningful traditions: keep, change, or set aside

Traditions hold emotions, which can make them comforting or painful. Consider which ones you wish to keep and which might be too difficult this year. Some people find comfort in placing a special decoration on the tree, lighting a candle, or including their loved one’s favourite food. Others prefer to introduce a gentler tradition or step away from festivities altogether. There is no correct approach. The only rule is to do what feels right for your own wellbeing.

5. Look after yourself during the season

Grief often affects the body as much as the heart. Fatigue, appetite changes, and difficulties with concentration are common. Simple acts of care can make a difference: eat when you can, rest when needed, and spend time outdoors. Limiting alcohol may also help, as it can intensify emotions. Maintaining a bit of routine, even small habits such as a morning cup of tea or an evening walk, can help ground you through the irregularities of the season.

6. Create gentle moments of remembrance

Finding ways to remember your loved one can bring a sense of connection at a time when emotions may feel scattered. You might choose to place a photograph in a special spot, write a Christmas message to them, play a meaningful piece of music, or raise a glass in their honour. Some families in Bridgwater choose to visit a meaningful place or take part in a local remembrance service. These small, intentional acts can help you hold their memory close without overwhelming your day.

7. Know where to find support

You do not need to face the season alone. Support is available both locally and online, and reaching out can provide comfort, understanding, and practical help.

St Margaret’s Hospice Bereavement Support in Somerset offers services for adults and families who are grieving. Their team provides emotional support, group sessions, and guidance for those adjusting to life after loss. Their bereavement support page can be found at:
https://www.st-margarets-hospice.org.uk/supportive-care-services/bereavement-support/

Open Mental Health also provides help for anyone struggling with their mental wellbeing during the festive period. Their guidance on staying safe at Christmas can be found at:
https://openmentalhealth.org.uk/keeping-yourself-safe-at-christmas/

Both organisations understand the unique challenges that Christmas can bring when you are grieving and can offer compassionate, professional support.

For immediate emotional support, friends, family members, faith leaders, and community groups can also provide a safe space to talk. Speaking aloud about what you are experiencing can help lighten the weight of the season.

8. Allow yourself to approach Christmas at your own pace

Above all, remember that there is no right or wrong way to spend Christmas while grieving. You might find moments of peace, sadness, warmth, or even quiet joy. None of these feelings diminish the love you have for the person you miss. Bereavement is deeply personal, and Christmas will be shaped by your own needs rather than anyone else’s expectations. Be gentle with yourself, take your time, and allow the season to unfold in a way that feels manageable.

Reflecting on grief during the festive season

Coping with grief at Christmas is never straightforward, and there is no single approach that will suit everyone. What matters most is finding a way through the season that feels manageable for you, whether that means keeping things simple, creating moments of remembrance, or seeking support when you need it.

If you are in Bridgwater or the wider Somerset area, there are services and community resources ready to listen and help you through this time. Be patient with yourself, allow space for your emotions, and remember that it is perfectly acceptable to shape Christmas in the way that best supports your wellbeing.